Hummingbird
A hummingbird's heart beats 1263 times per minute its wings flutter 80 times per second if a panic attack is a distinctly human feeling then a hummingbird is nature's equivalent. I used to fill the feeder in my grandmother's backyard kneeling at the window, chin resting softly on the windowsill waiting for the hummingbirds to prod the feeder searching for sugar water. In this quiet observation I could hear my breath, inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. I know that breathing can be switched to a voluntary action: all you have to do is think about it I know how still water looks in a glass at 3am and how cold air brings you back into your body like somehow you've forgotten it somehow you're standing in the waiting room of a UFO somehow solipsism sounds a little too convincing. One time I caught sight of a hummingbird it landed on the feeder its wings stopped beating and for once I noticed the quiet beauty the still dark eyes of bundled a