mckenzington

I'm not sure that I know how to be alone with myself anymore. I mean, I do, and I always have, but it's getting increasingly harder. I want to be alone all the time but when I am alone I don't want it anymore. The terrifying intimacy with a crowd of strangers unknown to you. I guess the city changes faster than the human heart.  There have been moments where I wait until I can be completely alone, and in that silence I cry. It's almost as if I can't stop, that if something or some thought didn't stop me I would cry forever until my body became some dry, waterless husk. I cry about everything and nothing in particular.  The thing they don't tell you about becoming more independent is that you have to actually face yourself. You have to know your eccentricities and particularities and when that becomes too much, the release just pours back into you, like how every time the tide goes out, it must come back in because it has nowhere else to go.  On th

Today I decided to take my daily shower a little earlier than I usually do, just after dinner. As I was rinsing the shampoo out of my hair, an alarm started going off. For a moment I stopped and wondered what the heck it could be. Residences don't have fire drills very often and I couldn't imagine what else they would need an alarm for. After a few seconds of wondering whether it would be truly worth it to put on my clothes and skip my moisturizing routine (which, in this dry winter season, is very important), I made a somewhat safe assumption that if it was a real emergency, someone would check the bathroom. I continued my shower and the alarm eventually stopped. My roommate later told me that it was in fact a fire drill and everyone was thinking, "McKenzie must be freaking the fuck out", meanwhile I was peacefully rinsing soap suds off my body. Live and let live, I suppose. Halifornia doesn't really deserve its nickname right now because it's been really